Today is the first anniversary of my departure from Sarasota, Florida, for the Camino de Santiago in Spain. I was full of excitement; I was on my way, at last! According to plan, my husband and I spent several days in Barcelona, Spain, visiting the city and adjusting to the jet lag. Barcelona is a beautiful city and a wonderful place to explore.
From Barcelona, we took the train to Pamplona (city known for the running of the bulls), and then a bus to Roncesvalles, a small town on the border with France. The next day we hiked over the Pyrenees (breathtaking!) to St-Jean-Pied-de-Port, France. From this quaint town, we returned to Roncesvalles through the valley, and then headed westward through northern Spain for more than 500 miles to the city of Santiago de Compostela, where the remains of St. James the apostle are entombed. Our pilgrimage took us 41 days to complete.
For me, the journey did not end in Santiago de Compostela. Upon returning home, I relived the adventure as I wrote Women of the Way: Embracing the Camino. This prolonging the adventure gave me time to assimilate the lessons learned on the Camino. As a result, there was a shift in the way I saw the world. I evolved from being a chronologist to being a narrator: I discovered my voice and was learning to have the courage to speak it. This was not an easy transition for me, and is one that I continue to explore.
Each day, along the way to Santiago, was a new destination, a new place to explore—but always on a continuum to Santiago. There were many alternate routes requiring choices and trust that the chosen path would be waymarked. Occasionally we got lost, but a slight course correction would put us on the right path.
I have been thinking hard trying to determine what my new destination is. Without this focus, I cannot tell if I an on the right path. At first, I thought becoming a published author was the destination. Now that I am published, I realize that this is but a “day” on the road to…where? I have a vague notion, but it is still not clearly defined. I want to help other authors succeed in their quest. I want to share my lessons learned so they can make better choices. I want to be supported and approachable—while maintaining time to travel and explore. (I am planning a 5 to 6 month bicycle trip through Europe next year.)
Is this doable? I don’t know. What do you think? Do I have to make a choice between being some sort of “guru” for authors or traveling. Can I do both? Is either of these my real destination, or just a stop along the way?
One year after starting on this journey, I am at a crossroads without a map, or perhaps the wrong map. I won’t know which until I can figure out where it is I want to go. I wish there were the yellow Camino arrows showing me the way. They are probably there, but hidden; obscured by the daily clutter of demands and activities. I need to reflect, answer some basic questions about myself, and set a new course.
Yesterday, I listened to a telecast on story telling by Lisa Bloom. She talked about the importance of finding the threads in your life that have made you who you are. Finding the pivotal moments and how you responded to them, she said, can help you understand who you really are and focus on where you want to go. Sounds like good advice. She also suggested to find what gives you passion, drives you crazy, gives you joy, makes you laugh and feel good and proud. She suggests answering these questions will help you find you focus.
As I think of these questions, I realize that writing and helping others have been a life-long passion, but so has exploring the world and learning from those experiences. As a teen, I thought the purpose in my life was to instill a thought in someone that would grow and make a profound change in that person. Lofty goal–but not very well-defined. After college, I went to live in Spain for year; I had no money (just the $100 that my mother handed me as I embarked the plane), no job, no plan other than to live on the economy and practice Spanish. Within 24 hours, I found a job as a tour guide and coworkers who helped me settle into living in Madrid.
My task now is to find a way to combine my two passions: my love of writing and helping others with my love of travel. I have to find a way to do this without impinging on either passion. I think it is doable. I had nine months to prepare for the Camino; this time I have seven months to prepare for my upcoming trip. During this time, I will figure out the logistics; I will find the way.
